Every child is a remarkable learner. From the very first day of life, they begin to absorb information from their surroundings. In this learning process, parents play an incredibly crucial role. They are not just caregivers or protectors, but also the first teachers who shape the child’s character, values, and habits. Everything a child sees, hears, and experiences at home builds their mindset and attitude in facing the outside world—including school.

One challenge often faced by teachers and schools is dealing with children who exhibit inappropriate behavior, such as frequent backtalk, speaking disrespectfully, or disobeying rules. When such behavior appears in the school environment, the root of the problem can often be traced back to the home: how parenting is practiced, how communication is built, and how rules are enforced.

A child who frequently talks back to their parents at home is highly likely to do the same with teachers or other adults outside the home. This doesn’t necessarily mean the child is “naughty” or “disrespectful”; rather, they have not yet learned how to interact appropriately in social situations. At home, they may see backtalk as normal behavior or may never face consequences when doing it. So, it’s no surprise that the same patterns carry over into the school setting.

Backtalk doesn’t appear out of nowhere. Parents might unknowingly ignore boundaries when a child speaks harshly, refuses tasks, or debates unnecessarily. If this behavior is allowed to continue unchecked, the child will believe that such conduct is acceptable—even a legitimate way to express opinions.

The way a child speaks also reflects the kind of relationship they have with their parents. A child who is used to speaking in a harsh, rude, or dismissive tone to their parents will likely carry that behavior into interactions with others, including teachers and peers. Again, it’s not that the child intentionally wants to be disrespectful, but that they have not been taught how to communicate politely and respectfully.

At home, the parents’ own communication style becomes the primary example. If parents frequently use a harsh tone, yell, or dismiss their child’s opinions, the child will mirror that communication style. They grow up without understanding the importance of empathy, a kind tone, or respectful language. When they go to school, they may struggle to adapt to a communication style that requires politeness and mutual respect.

Rules are essential in shaping a child’s character. At home, rules are meant to build discipline, responsibility, and respect. However, rules without consequences are meaningless. If a child is used to breaking rules at home without any clear repercussions, they won’t understand the importance of following rules elsewhere. This becomes evident when they are at school, where rules and structure apply to everyone.

For example, a child who faces no consequences for staying up late may struggle to wake up and arrive at school on time. A child allowed to use gadgets without limits may find it hard to focus in class. These habits often start from a lack of consistency in enforcing rules at home. If children aren’t trained in discipline from a young age, they will have a hard time adjusting to the structured nature of school.

Many parents expect schools to “fix” their child’s behavior. But in reality, school is not a child’s first learning environment. Children come to school carrying the foundation built at home. Teachers are not there to lay the foundation from scratch—they are there to continue, strengthen, and build upon the values already established by parents.

Teachers can teach about politeness, discipline, and responsibility, but if these values are not reinforced at home, school-based learning will be less effective. Children need consistency between home and school. If home is lenient while school is strict, the child may feel confused or even resist adapting. On the other hand, if discipline and values are aligned at both home and school, the child will grow up in a stable environment that supports their character development.

Creating a healthy learning environment requires strong collaboration between parents and schools. Parents must understand that they are the primary educators in their child’s life. Whatever is taught and modeled at home becomes the foundation for all learning—both academic and social.

Open communication between teachers and parents is key to understanding a child’s needs and challenges. When a teacher raises concerns about a child’s behavior at school, parents should not immediately become defensive. Instead, take it as an opportunity to evaluate parenting at home and work together with the school to find the best solution for the child.

Parents should also make time to be truly present in their child’s life—not just physically, but emotionally as well. Teach children values like respect, responsibility, and empathy not only through words, but through daily actions. Show them how to speak respectfully, how to be accountable, and how to accept consequences for their actions.

 

Children learn not just from books, but from every experience they go through. Home is their first school, and parents are their first teachers. What they see, hear, and feel at home shapes who they will become. If they are raised in an environment of healthy communication, consistent discipline, and sincere love, they will carry those values with them wherever they go—including to school.

Don’t wait until your child has problems at school to start improving your parenting. Build a strong foundation early. Because when parents and schools work hand in hand, children will have a firm stepping stone to grow into wise, respectful, and responsible individuals.